we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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