Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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