im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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