Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Drunk is not a location!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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