just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
