he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
