Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
