does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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