something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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