I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
