Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
