Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You pole danced in your parka.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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