Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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