Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
