The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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