Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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