Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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