Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
