Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
