hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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