Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am mentally ready for anal.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
