I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
