I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
