my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
