She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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