I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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