Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
