He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
