There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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