PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
COCAINE IS GR8
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
