His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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