It's Friday. Sex?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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