Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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