I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
