everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
