Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
