I accidentally had phone sex last night
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
