did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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