he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
