Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
