Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
