you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
