The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
