is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
