All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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