since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
