he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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