dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
