malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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