Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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